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Read This Jaw-Dropping Rant Against the Tri-Cities! — How Would You Respond?

I found a thread on the Tri-Cities Reddit page that was JAW-DROPPING! I just have to share:

Hi. I just had to relocate here for the summer… and am fearing extreme social isolation. Not to be snotty, but as a college graduate and being from Denver, living in southern California, I don’t feel I have much in common with people around here. I just went to Walmart… and the people there look like they are out of the movie “Idiocracy.” I am super depressed… I have no idea how to meet any women around here. I’m 31 years old, and well-cultured and educated and I feel like I will be surrounded by “simple-minded” country bumpkins and I have no hope for making any friends… I’m sorry for sounding like a snob but coming from Portland (where I was excited to live) to here is perhaps the most depressing move I’ve ever had to make. So sad.”


This mature user offers a calm, rational response. It doesn’t do much to defend the Tri-Cities, but it is fairly accurate:

It’s probably worth noting that the Tri is full of transplants. I know more transplants than actual natives. Most of us have gone to large universities, lived in bustling cities and traveled before setting up shop in SE Washington. The only thing that’s going to ruin your summer is your attitude. Hope that doesn’t turn out to be the case.”

But then he responds with this gem:

Who would willingly move here? There are no real jobs save from a nuclear power plant… the weather is terrible and there is no culture. Every woman’s dating profile claims that she “loves hunting.” Seriously? How many people commit suicide here…because I’m contemplating it.”

Here’s a true Tri-Citian coming to our community’s defense:

Low cost of living, strong economic resilience, not super crowded, tons of special interests (my father is part of a model railroad club, I’ve had D&D groups, people who enjoy anime, or those who like more active hobbies. There’s a little bit of everything here), lots of transplants giving it a melting-pot-like effect, and more.”

Not bad, not bad. Then there’s this guy:

With PNNL and the Hanford project, there are many well-educated people here. Also, there are a number of sophisticated processes in high-quantity farming and food production. So, the people working in the agriculture industry aren’t necessarily simpletons… If you are into physical activities, I would consider trying out kayaking, there is supposed to be a fairly active cycling community as well. For non-physical activities, consider looking into wine tasting and checking out the different breweries.”

Here, here. Great response — and useful advice, too! Someone else trying to be useful suggested,

  • Craigslist
  • Comic shops
  • Local points of interest
  • Surrounding cities

You have plenty of things at your disposal. Dont hate us because of Walmart.”

And his response is good enough for framing:

Comic shops? What the fuck am I going to do in a comic shop? Local points of interest? What the river? For Coors Light and getting torched by the desert sun while talking about Miley Cyrus and listening to country music? What do I have at my disposal… Craigslist? Casual sex with STD-infested young mothers?”

WOW, that’s all I have to say. Your turn, what’s your favorite thing about the Tri-Cities?

Maegan Murray

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