Kennewick Serial Cat Killer Mystery Solved by WSU Vet School
Thanks to the crack team at the WSU vet school, sorry, the Washington State University College of Veterinary Medicine, the Kennewick serial cat killer has been identified.
Wile E. Coyote.
From the Kennewick cops in a press release:
Since May 28, 2020, Kennewick police officers have responded to seven (7) deceased cats that appeared to have been potentially killed by an unknown human suspect. These cases were assigned to our criminal investigations division to attempt to verify the cause of death and locate a suspect if they were determined to have been caused by a human. During this process, remains were sent the Washington State University College of Veterinary Medicine in hope of determining the cause of death. The findings from WSU determined the cats died as a result consistent with coyote predation (sic). Based on this report these cases have been closed. We want to thank everyone who offered their assistance during [the] investigation.
So, you're telling me there's a coyote lurking and luring pets in a specific area of Kennewick? Anyone seen this coyote? Seems like Animal Control might have have to bait some traps or something.
Maybe the coyote has moved on to another feeding ground as there hasn't been a report of a mutilated cat, thank goodness, in a while.
I know, the coyote is looking for a bigger challenge and is finally ready to take on the Road Runner as his huge shipment from ACME, stolen by a porch pirate not long ago, was re-delivered today from an Amazon fulfillment center, so he's good to go.